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here we are
flip a switch:
I spent most of the early pandemic reading (90 books in 2020, 87 in 2021, way more than I've read since my teens). I started my Dream Job three days before lockdown; this, after resolving to quit my old job that I'd had far too long, through a succession of dangling carrots and glorious foreign junkets, on the strength of an oracle lot from the Temple of Thousand-Hand Thousand-Eye Guanyin in Taipei - I couldn't read it but my best friend assured me it was telling me to get the fuck out ASAP. but anyway: I had a really great manager who left after 3 months, I got stuck under a manager who clearly didn't give a shit, and tl;dr I started a different, tougher WFH job. I hate working from home so much that I'm sometimes bitterly jealous of people who don't have to. I'm bad at my new job - I took it because I wanted to learn more and do more but I am doing less well than I hoped. On another level I don't give a shit because that's not my life and with a couple of solid years in tax PA I don't think I'll ever have to worry about finding work that can pay the bills anyway.
I've read fuck-all this year, most of that comics, some of those printed so long ago and so badly that they were falling apart in my hands. but Matrix fandom has got me writing, jolts of words when I don't have the brain to edit them into anything. Some of it I've been able to put together - until this week I'd been working so much for so long that it's all lying in ywriter in pieces now. I know there's daylight in here, there's a way through something very specific and physical for me.
There's a line I've kept from Greer Gilman's Cloud & Ashes (which I read in 2020, slowly over a period of four months: it is the Dark Souls of books): she walked the longways out of winter. every damn year.
I spent most of the early pandemic reading (90 books in 2020, 87 in 2021, way more than I've read since my teens). I started my Dream Job three days before lockdown; this, after resolving to quit my old job that I'd had far too long, through a succession of dangling carrots and glorious foreign junkets, on the strength of an oracle lot from the Temple of Thousand-Hand Thousand-Eye Guanyin in Taipei - I couldn't read it but my best friend assured me it was telling me to get the fuck out ASAP. but anyway: I had a really great manager who left after 3 months, I got stuck under a manager who clearly didn't give a shit, and tl;dr I started a different, tougher WFH job. I hate working from home so much that I'm sometimes bitterly jealous of people who don't have to. I'm bad at my new job - I took it because I wanted to learn more and do more but I am doing less well than I hoped. On another level I don't give a shit because that's not my life and with a couple of solid years in tax PA I don't think I'll ever have to worry about finding work that can pay the bills anyway.
I've read fuck-all this year, most of that comics, some of those printed so long ago and so badly that they were falling apart in my hands. but Matrix fandom has got me writing, jolts of words when I don't have the brain to edit them into anything. Some of it I've been able to put together - until this week I'd been working so much for so long that it's all lying in ywriter in pieces now. I know there's daylight in here, there's a way through something very specific and physical for me.
There's a line I've kept from Greer Gilman's Cloud & Ashes (which I read in 2020, slowly over a period of four months: it is the Dark Souls of books): she walked the longways out of winter. every damn year.
no subject
holy shit it's so good to see an update from you.
I'm sorry about the shitty work stage, I hope it changes from you. But I'm glad that fandom has come back to drag you through the words again.
no subject
I'm so sorry the new job turned out rough :( Fingers crossed you can find something that suits your work environment needs soon.