thene: Happy Ponyo looking up from the seabed (Default)
thene ([personal profile] thene) wrote2014-04-02 09:03 pm


me: skeezy boss asked me if i could do some gift tax returns for him after the deadline and i said 'maybe' instead of 'no'. he has figured out he can bribe me by giving me delicious gift tax returns to do.
and yes, it will be v nice to have friends again!
Ekaterine: ...why do you enjoy those?
and what is WRONG with you? :/
you're already burning out
me: yeah. i need to be a mature individual and tell him to go fuck himself
i am just still in that mentality of not saying no to work even if it is shit work
Ekaterine:'re crazy
You need to get out of crazy job mentality, really
me: and this work is not ENTIRELY shit? but it is only WORK, i am confident i could find similarly interesting work without the skeezeball attached to it
Ekaterine: yes, that
and also, if you need sleep and hanging out with people and ...eating that isn't refueling, you should say no to extra work
me: i am like, not sure i am allowed to choose to not be employed by terrible people if those people are relatively polite and are willing to give me gift tax returns
Ekaterine: ...yes you're allowed, you crazy lady
me: eh, after deadline a little bit of here-and-there wouldn't ruin my life much. my getout, however, is that i need to start studying for a series 7 license
so i can feign 'nope busy'
Ekaterine: :/
lady, you don't need to feign busy
you just need to be "hey, I have a life"
or "I don't have time"
and you don't need to clarify to anyone else that it's "I don't have time because I want to go home and masturbate for 4 hours and then write smut"
me: :)
you know me
Ekaterine: I do
that's something I do too :/
I don't have time to do translations for you because I'd rather masturbate for 4 hours
me: :)
Ekaterine: that's something I need to put on a t-shirt and have someone else wear it
me: i thought that is what twitter is for
Ekaterine: ...haha
then someone else needs to twit it, not me :P
I don't need people coming to me and being "wait, you said you were busy? are you really busy or are you gonna be jilling?"
me: ting :)
Ekaterine: thank you for tweeting that
i missed literal years of work, though
being unemployed or underemployed or stuck in immigration
Ekaterine: I know that's why you have ISSUES
but seriously, GET OVER THEM
I can sit here and repeat ad nauseum: "just because people are offering you money for your time doesn't mean you need to accept that offer"
it's like...telling an ugly duckling "look, you don't need to have sex with everyone who is willing to, okay? You have CHOICES now."
me: do i? the problem is, accepting the work does, in itself, generate further CHOICES
Ekaterine: continue the possibly soggy metaphor, you're not a nympho
you don't need to have endless sex options
you have a dedicated sex option and whereas it might not always stroke the spot, it's still worth not having random sex with a bunch of strangers in search of the elusive worldshattering O
Ekaterine: ...the STDs aren't worth it
careful now, you're starting to sound like a poly nympho
Ekaterine: also, seriously, the amount of bad, soggy, grunting, bad body odor, whambamnothankyouma'am sex you need to go through -- blagh
I'll take the trusted and true option over that
me: i see, i see
Ekaterine: but seriously. You're not starving in the streets. You know you'd rather have time to go to ESB with me rather than do gift taxes for slimeboss
me: okay that is true
just please get rich enough to give someone over $14000 so i can have gift tax returns pls pls
Ekaterine: blink
see, you could give ME that money and I could give it back to you
and that way you could do it TWICE
:) problem solved, amirite?
me: omg

[identity profile] 2014-04-27 04:02 pm (UTC)(link)
You can't get away with saying "I'm busy" round here. Most people will want to know why, and frankly you seem shifty if you refuse to explain. My kid sister is particularly guilty of giving people the fourth degree: if I say, "No, I don't have time for the dog" she will review my schedule, determine I do have time (in her eyes) and then the dog will turn up on my doorstep. Failure to provide a good reason will produce the same result. (And in her eyes, working from home doesn't count as good reason.)

But it's not just family who do this. I've had to sit through five-minute sermons from leaflet distributors who couldn't distribute, and I didn't prompt them because I want people to love me so much that I lap up their rejections...

Maybe it's a cultural thing. Maybe it's too much exposure to a certain type of emotionally abusive person. And thinking about it, one of the reason I don't ask for help is because people around me can't say, "No, sorry; not to day" but turn themselves into martyrs while making me feel guilty for asking them. Anyway, I don't think it's as easy to say 'no' as Ekaterine claims.

Fortunately you can get away with it at your age. In ten years time, you'll have a mental breakdown.

PS And why do I find there is a NIN track that Ekaterine hasn't heard?