fly on kink_bingo:

I used to be able to spontaneously jizz out revolting smut with no shame, but now, in an era when writing porn for fun is more normal thanks to a certain Twilight fanfiction I won't mention by name, I freak out at how tawdry and dull pornography and sex seems, while spinning plot threads for convoluted mission-based scenarios too hard to write to ever complete.

The problem is that the bingo is very heavily skewed towards BDSM, painplay and D/s.

You all know I have nothing against any of those, but it's awkward, because it prioritises certain fandoms and a certain way of writing smut that I find dull. For example, Thene mentioned to me that it's kind of insulting tacking '-play' onto the end of things in a fictional context, since when characters in my fandoms torture each other, they do it sincerely, with no safeword, ignoring the Geneva convention.

Read moar here.

while not updating

-i am recalling that I quite often do this when I am in a new place, in a protracted form this time while I regain a grip on the contours of life and self-discipline. moments go unrecorded; Saturdays in freezing cold water off Maine thinking of my ancestors and their god, thinking of the friend on the beach on the other side of the water; the girl in the back of our car who went to university in Ireland, telling me that American accounts of college life sound more like summer camp to her; the joy of my feet on Everett Broadway, because I love being able to do grocery shopping on foot again; a few minutes of Monday evening lying on my back on the asphalt in a long dress tying knots underneath Ting's car, offering when she got cute about it later to check under her hood (i remain the worst friend); rereading The Nine Tailors with intent, re-alchemising lost momentum; getting a bit excited about dolly kei and going 'wait don't i do most of this already'; listening to Dessa omg; turning a few good lines and never doing anything important.

I'm not doing bad, but I'm not doing it right either, I'll get back to you once I know what I'm doing.