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notes to self
so it is April 6th and I'm posting by email from bouncyjob, which is wearing down its bounce, though I still have to occasionally put out fires set by the former office manager (my boss's response to my most recent email on this topic was "did [he] do anything right in the four years he worked there?" Esq replied in allcaps, "NO") I am caught in a reflective lull; one client just left, the next one is late, someone else isn't picking up the phone (because hi, I also have to fix things fucked up by Esq, who is deadly intent on winning the office bonus prize for racking up ill amounts on her invoices and much less keen on doing her job properly. I am not even trying that hard to rack up commission and I am still my manager's favourite employee, because I like doing the interesting, non-money-generating stuff.) And I woke up late this morning and part of me has evidently stayed in bed, dozing and trying to keep the sun out of my eyes. The sky evidently feels the same way - bright, but there's a bitter wind - as does my job; I am just harassing slowass clients over the phone, because the last-minuters haven't showed up yet and everyone else is already done.
I hads a fly and it went away again :( That aside, I am kinda way behind on sleep and personal pootling, neither of which I am likely to catch up on in the next two weeks. Guess I didn't get the dreamjob, need to call agencies, rah rah, just wanna write terrible porn and play videogames, my life. I have a minor reprieve jobwise; being Favourite Employee is going to get me staying on part-time at bouncyjob, if I'm available; given that I'm not desperate for money (although a liveable steady income sure would be nice), I will be glad of the intangible benefits of being on someone's payroll until I can find a real job.
I keep wavering between feeling like all things are possible and realising that actuallyno, even if getting interviews for full-time permanent jobs is a step up from life in GA, it is not the same thing as getting one, which will probably never happen so I will be working 50+hrs/week "part-time" through agencies for forever just like everyone else. I'm still glad to have better work, hope to see more of it, though I'm genuinely worried about what the useless agency will even be able to find for me to do out of season, because I have shit-all qualifications and have only ever had two employers - The Dingbat and, years ago, Dani K - who ever wanted me to learn anything. The Dingbat, bless his heart, is even wanting to pay me to do three extra training days at the end of my contract so I can lay further claim to being an accountant. I need more education but would rather spend the time working, not least because I'd probably learn more that way.
This isn't a blog interface; it's an email to myself, so reads more like a to-do list, and it evidently has nothing non-immediate to say. I finished Chasm City, did I say? It seemed a bit strange to be reading something by Alastair Reynolds that was markedly more about men than about women, but then it all ended in an identity clusterfuck where everyone is the same person. It was longer and slower than it had to be, and the plot felt far too incidental to its innards, but it rewarded me with deliciously unreliable narration, transsexual cyborgs and an epilogue cameo from Ana Khouri (she of canon noncon fempreg fame - god I love Alastair Reynolds), so I was happy.
now i get to hit send and then fuss about editing this post later, or not, because I gathered thoughts and killed time and polish isn't everything.
I hads a fly and it went away again :( That aside, I am kinda way behind on sleep and personal pootling, neither of which I am likely to catch up on in the next two weeks. Guess I didn't get the dreamjob, need to call agencies, rah rah, just wanna write terrible porn and play videogames, my life. I have a minor reprieve jobwise; being Favourite Employee is going to get me staying on part-time at bouncyjob, if I'm available; given that I'm not desperate for money (although a liveable steady income sure would be nice), I will be glad of the intangible benefits of being on someone's payroll until I can find a real job.
I keep wavering between feeling like all things are possible and realising that actuallyno, even if getting interviews for full-time permanent jobs is a step up from life in GA, it is not the same thing as getting one, which will probably never happen so I will be working 50+hrs/week "part-time" through agencies for forever just like everyone else. I'm still glad to have better work, hope to see more of it, though I'm genuinely worried about what the useless agency will even be able to find for me to do out of season, because I have shit-all qualifications and have only ever had two employers - The Dingbat and, years ago, Dani K - who ever wanted me to learn anything. The Dingbat, bless his heart, is even wanting to pay me to do three extra training days at the end of my contract so I can lay further claim to being an accountant. I need more education but would rather spend the time working, not least because I'd probably learn more that way.
This isn't a blog interface; it's an email to myself, so reads more like a to-do list, and it evidently has nothing non-immediate to say. I finished Chasm City, did I say? It seemed a bit strange to be reading something by Alastair Reynolds that was markedly more about men than about women, but then it all ended in an identity clusterfuck where everyone is the same person. It was longer and slower than it had to be, and the plot felt far too incidental to its innards, but it rewarded me with deliciously unreliable narration, transsexual cyborgs and an epilogue cameo from Ana Khouri (she of canon noncon fempreg fame - god I love Alastair Reynolds), so I was happy.
now i get to hit send and then fuss about editing this post later, or not, because I gathered thoughts and killed time and polish isn't everything.