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the red wire
re. things that just happen every so often - I got approached for a hair modelling gig and am actually going for it for once ever. (this really does Just Happen sometimes, fffff M took this sneakyphoto in Pittsburgh last November, I fail at looking normal, etc.) It's for some hair accessory marketing thing that needs moar redheads on short notice, and I am getting free shit (and a much-needed trim, and allegedly picture royalties for if the accessorything takes off at all) rather than actual money...and G is going over to Smyrna with me for it because if I am going to be a fucking idiot with my time I may as well go for broke.
I graciously allowed M to get noisily mad at me for agreeing to this. It's partly the DEAR GOD HOW MANY THINGS AM I TRYING TO DO AT ONCE factor but mostly the G Is A Delusional Nutbar factor. I D E K, I think when I realised I was getting the hell away from here I stopped hating her for being the creepiest couplefancier ever and slid straight into LOL about it; M continues to find this deeply unfunny. I may have just worked through the h8 because I wound up using it as fodder for my La Clown characterisation, which I then used as the basis of YOU KNOW IN RETROSPECT AC!D FANDOM IS LIKE THE WORST PLACE TO GET ONE'S WIRES CROSSED, WHY CAN I NOT STOP DOING THIS.
The other odd thing is that the reason this all used to be a painful mess is that apart from the piles and piles of delusions/lying, I used to really like her. And I stopped. I dunno when. I guess I didn't think about it much until about a week ago. I still have way more tolerance for her than most people, but I think what finally killed my inexplicable fondness was getting tired of her being One Of Those Fans. I am pretty restrained about expressing fannishness these days, both in general and in the specific; beyond obviously public activities like convention-going, I don't talk at random people about what I'm into or what I'm doing unless they're into it too, and I generally avoid squeeing over specific things unless the other person cares too. tldr; G is now making me hate three different fandoms, two of which I really like, one of which I haven't yet mentioned to her I like. just learn to engage with people in a really-real way god.
and yet i still think there's a decent human being underneath the batshit and the lack of social skills. it just hasn't grown up yet, and doesn't want to.
ANYWAY, life; my tooth is calming the hell down, and I managed to write a bit today, time passing is not always a bad thing.
I graciously allowed M to get noisily mad at me for agreeing to this. It's partly the DEAR GOD HOW MANY THINGS AM I TRYING TO DO AT ONCE factor but mostly the G Is A Delusional Nutbar factor. I D E K, I think when I realised I was getting the hell away from here I stopped hating her for being the creepiest couplefancier ever and slid straight into LOL about it; M continues to find this deeply unfunny. I may have just worked through the h8 because I wound up using it as fodder for my La Clown characterisation, which I then used as the basis of YOU KNOW IN RETROSPECT AC!D FANDOM IS LIKE THE WORST PLACE TO GET ONE'S WIRES CROSSED, WHY CAN I NOT STOP DOING THIS.
The other odd thing is that the reason this all used to be a painful mess is that apart from the piles and piles of delusions/lying, I used to really like her. And I stopped. I dunno when. I guess I didn't think about it much until about a week ago. I still have way more tolerance for her than most people, but I think what finally killed my inexplicable fondness was getting tired of her being One Of Those Fans. I am pretty restrained about expressing fannishness these days, both in general and in the specific; beyond obviously public activities like convention-going, I don't talk at random people about what I'm into or what I'm doing unless they're into it too, and I generally avoid squeeing over specific things unless the other person cares too. tldr; G is now making me hate three different fandoms, two of which I really like, one of which I haven't yet mentioned to her I like. just learn to engage with people in a really-real way god.
and yet i still think there's a decent human being underneath the batshit and the lack of social skills. it just hasn't grown up yet, and doesn't want to.
ANYWAY, life; my tooth is calming the hell down, and I managed to write a bit today, time passing is not always a bad thing.
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