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no gentlefae (written yesterday, not sure why I forgot to post this)
All Souls Day, for those of us who are not saints. For those of us who do not have another day to call our own, for those of us, for us.
I had that empty-craving feeling earlier, put some loud music on to try to satisfy it, couldn't choose anything right, set all 11010 tracks to shuffle. Some things should not be left up to randomisers, but really? 11010 tracks. Many of which I've only listened to once, or never. I don't know what's in there. Digital storage is more expansive than my memory and exploring it needs a bigger crowbar than my conscious ability to choose; it's not surprising that there's something devastatingly appropriate that I'd clean forgotten existed and am not even sure how I came by or if I'd ever listened to it before.
Memory is too big to deal with. At one point I was wondering if d. was just recycling themes from a cyberpunk thing I poke from time to time, Too Much Information (no, really), because it deals with memory and forgetfulness. Ahaha no; in the last few days me, my head, other people and the internets have tossed me more positions from which to examine memory than I can cope with; my brain is swamped; I need to wake up; I am begging me to get this over with.
I am lonelier than usual and the time of year is the only reason for this that makes any sense.
I had that empty-craving feeling earlier, put some loud music on to try to satisfy it, couldn't choose anything right, set all 11010 tracks to shuffle. Some things should not be left up to randomisers, but really? 11010 tracks. Many of which I've only listened to once, or never. I don't know what's in there. Digital storage is more expansive than my memory and exploring it needs a bigger crowbar than my conscious ability to choose; it's not surprising that there's something devastatingly appropriate that I'd clean forgotten existed and am not even sure how I came by or if I'd ever listened to it before.
Memory is too big to deal with. At one point I was wondering if d. was just recycling themes from a cyberpunk thing I poke from time to time, Too Much Information (no, really), because it deals with memory and forgetfulness. Ahaha no; in the last few days me, my head, other people and the internets have tossed me more positions from which to examine memory than I can cope with; my brain is swamped; I need to wake up; I am begging me to get this over with.
I am lonelier than usual and the time of year is the only reason for this that makes any sense.