thene: "'The spirit is a garden,' said he." Photograph from (snowdrops of gratuitous self-reference)
thene ([personal profile] thene) wrote2014-02-09 04:07 pm


It's Sunday, I clocked 70 hours last week, and I need to work. I took my pile of Mr Slime work out of my bag and I need to do it. But I want to breathe first ok.

We're buying the Ugly House. It's being inspected on Monday. K and me are spending all of our money on it because we were too feckless to get a mortgage approved initially (I have no credit score, but K and M did eventually get approved for a hundred grand - but not until after we put in our cash offer). I am cool with having close to no money left as we're very solvent and our costs of living after the move are going to be minuscule, and Zombies, Inc now appears to be actualfax profitable - so I can at least rely on continuing to take home $500 a week there, maybe more if shit really does get bigtime. In the meantime, I will be one of three owners of this weird, chintzy, far-larger-than-necessary house a few minutes walk from a station that's opening in about a year's time & another station that's allegedly opening in 2019, which will be shortly after K (who is paying for most of this house) finishes undergrad. The Ugly House's peculiar layout includes a bonus extra sitting room/bedroom downstairs, so we will be free to make people visit us.

You only need to be rich once; I still remember the start of the month my father died, when we had $7 left after paying the rent and had to spend $5 of it on gas to get home from taking our change to the bank. I was working two jobs, but M's job had shorted his pay by $200 and were shrugging their shoulders and telling us to wait another two weeks for them to rectify the error. That was three years and a couple of weeks ago. Just think, now I am going to have enough spare income to afford health insurance for the first time since moving to this country.

None of my three jobs provide health insurance. I have never had a job that offered health insurance. I have kind of a lot to say about stuff like this. Taxing Women offered much insight into the Ann Romneys of the world, and how the tax system enables them by providing them with tons of breaks for not working - untaxed family fringe benefits, unearned Social Security credits, being allowed to contribute to an IRA even on $0 of earned income. And as Daisy pointed out, the woman didn't even raise five houseplants; this is on my mind because I did my first Sch H middle of last week, for one of Mr Slime's clients. A Sch H is how you submit Social Security & Medicare payments for your household employees - maids and nannies and such. The client made $200k a year in a job prominent enough that when I googled her I found media interviews she'd done and she paid a nanny $9/hr to bring up her children, because raising children is such valuable work blah blah blah who cares just hide the immigrant woman who lives in your house and looks after your family and don't talk about how much she's worth to you. It's a secret between you, me, the IRS and anyone who wants to listen to me talk about you on the internet.

(After we move, I need to fill the Ugly House with houseplants. Just because.)

no seriously 1% tax returns reek of entitlement, I don't even (and $200k isn't even 1%). They also document some jawdropping stupidity and inability to handle money, hello actual 1% dude who lost $225,000 failing at flipping a house while living in it and therefore rendering the loss nondeductible, and oh i see you are also nursing a $200k capital loss carryover, I am never putting money anywhere near the financial institution you work for, I'm just saying. Mr Slime has been letting his clients deduct their fucking dry cleaning as an unreimbursed employee expense for years, and I had to break it to him that this is really explicitly not okay because the tax code says that the clothing & upkeep deduction is mostly for blue-collar workers: "It is not enough that you wear distinctive clothing. The clothing must be specifically required by your employer. Nor is it enough that you do not, in fact, wear your work clothes away from work. The clothing must not be suitable for taking the place of your regular clothing. Examples of workers who may be able to deduct the cost and upkeep of work clothes are: delivery workers, firefighters, health care workers, law enforcement officers, letter carriers, professional athletes, and transportation workers (air, rail, bus, etc.). Protective clothing: You can deduct the cost of protective clothing required in your work, such as safety shoes or boots, safety glasses, hard hats, and work gloves. Examples of workers who may be required to wear safety items are: carpenters, cement workers, chemical workers, electricians, fishing boat crew members, machinists, oil field workers, pipe fitters, steamfitters, and truck drivers."

I may be kvetching about this particularly hard because I am still embarrassingly bad at manipulating Lacerte, the 'high-end' program Mr Slime installed on my laptop (hint; it's a slowass POS compared to the one I use at Cuddlejob), and fucked up some income apportioning last week; and I am learning some real mormonism here (I decided that in the interests of accuracy I should stop referring to jawdropping but legal tax manoeuvres as 'voodoo'), some of which I want to write real posts about just in the interests of explaining to the world why they should cease to be legal as soon as possible. I should probably get on with the fucking job first, though.

Oh, and he says it's okay for me to communicate with clients by email, so long as I pretend to be some kind of...unspecified and unnecessary document assistant? and not imply I am actually doing their returns. What the everloving fuck. I'm more qualified than he is - he lists his fucking RTRP on his business card even though the IRS abolished the qualification and I am a freaking EA. Wherever I wind up working next year, I intend to ask whether my name & PTIN will be on my returns; anywhere that says no is getting a firm rejection and I will be telling them why. I think I can allow myself the staggering luxury of self-respect in my future employment decisions. Hope I really can tolerate Mr Slime for two more months. (ETA: while dithering over composing an appropriately misrepresentative email to one client, I have added the letters after my name to my gmail handle out of pure, passagg malice. I may be turning into Esq - who, incidentally, has been a COMPLETE flake this year, but that is another story that I don't have time to write down.)

I am STILL doing the alternate days of hate at Zombies, Inc; I feel great one day, totally cool with flinging all my social energy into a brick wall, enjoying the flow of things, then the next day I just can't even pick up the telephone. I keep trying to push myself a bit harder there regarding the things I find hard. My real problem lately is that I'm now on the same level positionwise as the Cyborg and I even have my own intern now, but The Cyborg is, like, a machine. He has become one with the data. I am struggling to stay ahead of his interns. I think he makes more than me, but not MUCH more, and it is completely unreasonable to pay me anything like what he makes because for the love of god I am pretty sure this company could make money if it consisted of only the Cyborg making the product and My Friend selling it and My Friend at least makes commission. I have never been not good at a job before, but as I try more and stupider things I should probably adjust to this feeling.

Hey, have another link about jobs getting shittier.

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