thene: The Joy is facepalming at you. (facepalm)
thene ([personal profile] thene) wrote2016-03-30 12:20 am

nice problems to have

[let me ease into my muttering.]

I passed my second securities exam two weeks ago, the one that matters, with an obscene score, though as i've seen people point out online all TRULY legit professional exams are straight up pass/fail in order to nerf score wankery (and people further point out that high scorers can be shittier practitioners because we're all people who over-study before getting our hands dirty. As a gullible credidentialist idiot I'm now wondering if I will ever try studying for a CFA or CFP). The gap between elation and drop was sharper than I expected. Super glad I've freed up brainspace and evening time now I'm done studying, though I can't concentrate on ANYTHING. I'm still working about 57hrs/week (three 9-5s, three 9-8s), but only for another 4-5 weeks, after which I will be bitter and unfulfilled because I REALLY LIKE SOLVING DIFFICULT TAX PROBLEMS. I get a new doozy every week. Every shift. this week ALONE i've had L-visa bullshit, a MONSTROUSLY screwed up built in passive loss, and I had to teach myself how to deal with cancelled debt in rental businesses LOOK AT ME I get so geared up that on the quiet nights, I stretch and dance on the platform of Mass Ave station while I wait for the train back home. i am sure it helps that I accidentally (really) get paid more for 14hrs/week of this stuff than I ever got paid from holding down two jobs in ATL. (The accident involved the white man who got hired after I did asking for a truly grotesque hourly rate, which boss then decided he ought to pay to both of us because I am way more qualified than the white man, albeit riddled with continuity issues due to working mostly in short evening shifts. You see how it is. Boss is very sweet but not too organised and he is resistant to my attempts to change that).

so what the super exam bullshit gets me, in the immediate future, is more of the festering dramapit job that is totally unfulfilling to do, but which I can't immediately ragequit with any class. god, I'm spoilt. I am the last humanities grad left to land a finance job, and low tier scut finance pay is still more than I'd ever be worth anywhere else. I guess I ragequit in a year or so, either for a classier version of the same thing or for some other type of rentier middleman bullshit. i do filthy, nasty things no human being should have to do, getting paid due to legislative fictions, and the best thing this year might be that night job has also got me dabbling at bookkeeping; a nice decent job that will not be first against the wall when the revolution comes.

[and if I start with words in the reclaimed time gaps, I hope it leads to more than this. I wrote most of this before the weekend, which was lovely and restful and the only one of its kind for another month, but as M keeps reminding me, this is my lifestyle choice. I am slotting things away in tetris time, people shaped holes in the grid. Padding art and springtime on the edges of it all.]

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