thene: Frank at the end of TTS, with his facemask open. (frank)
thene ([personal profile] thene) wrote2014-10-07 05:31 pm

similar demons; not coincidentally

^alanis understands

[I wrote this yesterday and forgot to hit post, obv]

I just spent another weekend in and around New York; I love being able to do this, make yesterday so far, far away. Lunch-ish on Long Island with [twitter.com profile] gullapip talking about the strange things that we have let pass for normal. (Fly once explained that I am from Gormenghast, and I am not looking back).

I need the metropolitan fix; endlessness afoot, the feeling of being inessential to the living, ancient creature whose guts you're burrowing into. Boston is still the same story; comfort and unscratched itches. Never draws blood. (was it really only yesterday that I fell down the stairs on the Long Island railroad? Friday seems more respectably faraway; being in the wrong place in the rain at almost midnight, and it's hilarious being an adult who owns a goddamn smartphone and therefore has options more expensive than hitching two miles up the highway).

Living on ice, waiting on promises (including from the government department that has not yet awarded the contract it said it was going to award over a month ago, no surprises there). I've studied enough that I feel like I can read and write again, while still having gained nothing from it. I need to get in my 24 CPE credits by the end of the year to stay enrolled as an EA, so hi, back to shopping around for the cheapest and shittiest CPE I can find because this is what CPE requirements encourage people to do. (The Bond Girl gave me a flyer for a multi-day CPE event devoted to hedge fund tax strategy. It was so beautiful - everything I have ever wanted, for a mere $1800. Just think, this exists because there are jobs where you can expense such things and get paid to go to them. Thus we fly apart between scrapings and largesse, leaving a void in the middle.)

I'll be in London in less than two weeks; M keeps asking what I want to do while we're there and I just kind of go 'um' because all I can think of is stones, rain and people, earth and the river and people, and a little rest and distance.